Soccer player’s leg????

I was walking up the gym stairs the other day when a guy walking behind me asked me if I was a soccer player. I was stunned. After informing him that I don’t do any sport except run every once in a while, I asked him why he assumed that. He told me that it was because my legs were like that of a soccer player. Of course that got me thinking about my days as a soccer player.

I am a jack of all trades when it comes to sports. I know every rule in most games I watch and I selectively use them to my advantage :). So it was with soccer. We (a couple of my classmates in school and I) used to play soccer reasonably regularly during school. Of course, like all kids, we all thought we were better than we actually were. All the guys wanted to be forwards or midfielders and get all the glory. Not me. I wanted to be a defender. A goalie did not sound like a good option because it meant I would have to jump about and stuff. Folks who know me also know how much I hate that. So defender I was.

Remember this was not a easy thing – but I had a couple of things going for me. Tremendous girth and reasonable lateral movement, the foolish courage to stand my ground when someone was running at me with the football (my girth helped me in that the others were afraid to do run into me :)) and the ineptitude of my friends as soccer players.

Most of my friends thought they were the second coming of Pele and Maradona when in truth, let us just stick with not good. One guy even thought he was Higuita and would run off the goal and go to the opponents D – being the tallest he would manage to head a couple of balls – some luckily in the general direction of the goal (if you are reading this, you know who you are). That was his reasoning to run off. Given the fact that most of the time the goalies were also attacking, scoring was pretty easy and all you needed to do was kick the ball from the half and hope it rolls in. Every now and then, one of them managed to put his legs close to the ball and then claim that it was an awesome goal.

So I took it up on myself to play both defender and most of the times midfielder for my team. I would stand outside the D somewhere in the middle of the field all by my lonesome self (being too lazy to run) and thus would prevent the ball from rolling towards the goal. Also if any of them came running with the ball, all I did was stand my ground. Being awesome soccer players, they would just crash into me (being unable to dribble around me) and most of the time I would kick the ball away. I was also good enough to argue with most people – they would be a little shaken up which made things easy. This meant that they would not win the argument for a penalty. Of course, all this resulted in me being called a great defender. I was also the reason teams won or lost πŸ™‚ or so it was said.

But all this still did not explain why I had the legs of a soccer player. And when it comes to lifting weights, I am too chicken to lift much with my legs. My claim is that I run and so lifting weights would leave me sore. So I set out to come with with a good reason why I have reasonable amount of muscles in my legs. After thinking for a long time, I saw the light. Of course, it was because I was a fatty all my life. My legs had to lift all the weight in my stomach (+ brain or so I claim) and being trained to lift that weight all through life, they had become pretty muscular. Now that I have lost some of the fat in the legs, the muscles are actually showing. So folks, there are some advantages to being fat – one of them is that you will have reasonably strong legs. Some might even mistake it for a soccer player’s leg. If ballet dancing is your thing, then don’t waste your time growing fat.

On a slightly unrelated note, I managed to run close to 12.5 miles last week. I have been increasing it at a rate of 2.2 miles a week for the last 4 weeks. Now I will reduce the increases to around 1.5 – 1.6 a week till I reach 30. I increase my 3 runs by 2 mins each and the weekend runs by 10 mins. Since I run at approximately 6 an hour, it amounts to 1.6 – maybe a little more since I have become faster because of my soccer player’s legs :).

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6 Comments on “Soccer player’s leg????”

  1. Anand Subramani Says:

    nice one,Guppy. brings back old memories of playing soccer with a tennis ball. and i was a defender too πŸ™‚

  2. Guppy Says:

    Haha – I know the feeling :). I had lots of fun writing about my soccer playing days.

  3. catcharun Says:

    believe it or not, i was a defender at school too..and a rather pesky one at that according to the 2 star players in our class..one time i stupidly stood my ground like u described u did, this guy rose up to head the ball and then politely crashed his knee into my sternum…ppl rushed over to help and i ended up with a large red bruise but he didnt score the goal either :)..good one da..evoked my memories as well

  4. Guppy Says:

    AAkkk. Too many defenders around me. I should have taken up offense. Of course, with all three of us I can detect the laziness. Like people do get together dont they.

  5. hyps Says:

    I used to kick around the soccer ball at my grandma’s house with only my younger siblings and of course dominated the proceedings due to age advantage…hence ive probably got a very skewed view of my “soccer capabilities” πŸ˜‰ hehe..

    of course I remember running into you (literally) in 2002/2003, in one of those soccer matches near TPA (sorry forgot the name of the park)..i will not easily forget that experience, I got clocked/winded/what have u…and was given a “crash” course on the rules of conservation of momentum.

  6. Guppy Says:

    I had forgotten about that. We did play some soccer in grad school. I remember I nearly scored a self-goal there. Aahhh those were the days. A little football among all the cricket.


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